Most people have frank kids. I have the privilege of having delusional ones. This year I got from Dylan, a hand painted breakfast plate, handed to me with much pomp at a ceremony in her classroom. Welling up with emotion, I clutched my plate to my bosom and squealed “I love it Dylan! I will have all my breakfasts on my special plate from now on!” The little cow snatched it back and said “No you won’t! It’s got my name on it! But you can use it on Sundays!”
So much for teaching my kid Asian values like filial piety and gratitude! My Mother’s Day card read “I love my Mum very much because she makes lots of dumplings.” !!! Just excuse me for one second while I add that to my CV… Dumpling… Maker… Take that Sheryl Sandberg!
And then the big one came back home and crows “MAMAAAA! I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU!!!!”. Great! Another child to worship me like a goddess! I perk up and run to the dining room eagerly. Only to find the big one ripping open my present….
… “Here you go Mama….”
“It’s your face!” says Finn proudly while brandishing something which looks like what Coco was fed last thursday and coughed up in the yard. A handmade, ceramic likeness of my son’s OPINION of what his lovely mother looks like.
Like I said, completely delusional!
Anyway, I’m so overwhelmed by my mother’s day presents that I need to have a cool glass of vodka in a darkened room. Happy Mother’s Day!