The 13 Commandments of the Countryside

Our friends James and Imogen invited us around to their place this Sunday for a bonfire and outdoor lunch. They’re in the midst of building their house on an absolutely gorgeous property with a huge dam, so we all had to get dressed in our Country Best (which means basically means Hunter wellies), and remember to behave like proper country folk (which means not complaining about MUD – that means you Sean!)

And I’ve divined that these are the 13 Commandments of the Countryside:

1.) In the Country, everyone brings something for the picnic table….

2.) Dogs are invited too – furnishings are expected to be paw proof.

Dylan’s new best friend

3.) Thou shalt learn how to sizzle twenty sausages at a go on the campfire

4.) Childrens entertainment comprises of everything which can be found in the great literary classics Lord of the Flies and Swallows and Amazons, i.e. mud-splashing, stick-poking, chasing and moderately violent mutinies.

5.) A boat is always a Good Idea

6.) One shall know how to whistle at 300 decibels

7.) Dogs are permitted onboard

8.) And so are other small animals

Row harder!

9.) Anything a boy can do, a girl can do better and in stylish pink gumboots too

10.)Thou shalt learn how to make divine baked goods like this delicious banana, caramel and strawberry cake that Imogen and Harper baked…


11.) Guests will drink and laugh a lot.

12.) Children will be bribed with sweets so as to stave off crankiness until they explode from sugar, and then they shall be swiftly removed from the premises by their parents.

13.) And lastly, a good time shall be had by all, regardless of the weather!

The end.

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