Two days ago we were evicted from our house as it had been sold to a couple of enthusiastic fund managers, so we are now camping out at the Four Seasons before all of us leave for Australia on the 18th November.
Mark flew to Oz first to set up base camp at the summer house we rented in Mornington (as the house we bought at Merricks is being renovated. Yes it’s rather complicated!)
Since I was all alone at the Four Seasons, I thought it would be cool to bring Finn over from my mother’s house (where all the kids and helpers were deposited) and have a fun-filled hotel night.
“We’ll order room service, watch a movie, have a bubble bath and snuggle in bed together!” I enthused to little Finn, who was thrilled by the idea. I told my mom to pack his toothbrush and pjs and deliver the said toddler to my hotel room at 5pm.
So we had the best time, Finn had bangers and mash, a bubble bath for himself and towtruck #9, a viewing of Wallace & Gromit, half a bar of Godiva raspberry chocolate, one bottle of milk and two bedtime stories.
Until we discovered that the Four Seasons had installed an antique cot with iron rails in the bedroom for Finn. It was about 2 seconds before Finn realised that he could make a pleasurable clanging ruckus by using his feet to jiggle the movable cot side up and down. This was a major turning point in the evening.
I spent the next two hours, either rescuing Finn from having a foot trapped in the rails, putting him back in the cot after he decided to clamber out and run around the bedroom hooting “Mama, Finn Finn is a Great Horned Owl!”, changing his pyjamas after he managed to empty a bottle of water from the bedside table over himself and turning the aircon on and off because “Finn Finn is FREEZING Mama! Save the Finn FInn!” or “Finn Finn is MELTING Mama, switch on aircon!”
Finally, I decided to ignore him completely, and he climbed out of the cot, fell the 1.4metres over the edge to the floor and had a good old wail which was roundly ignored by callous Mama as well.
So Finn decided to compose a special ditty for Mama’s benefit, to the tune of Thomas the Tank Engine’s theme song. The original lyrics:
Thomas he’s the cheeky one
James is vain but lots of fun
Percy pulls the mail on time
Gordon thunders down the line
Mama she’s the angry one
Daddy’s lots n lots of fun
Mama she’s the grumpy one
Daddy is the patchy one
Daddy is the lucky one
Daddy is the… special one!
Which of course was the perfect time for Mark to call my handphone and overhear Finn’s little ditty. Then the two of them had a little chorus over the phone and Finn fell about laughing so hard, his bedtime milk came out of his nostrils.
That’s it. Tomorrow morning at 8.30 a.m. sharp, Finn’s on the sidewalk with his little suitcase and toothbrush being sent off by the Grumpy One.